Copyright 2020

By Theresa Dolata

The memory that makes me happy is when I first performed standup in an actual comedy club. I had no idea how open mic nights went. I thought if you signed up on line 25 that you were number 25 to go up. I signed up for spot 15. The first few comics went up and I had drank so many beverages that I had to pee really bad. So, I figured I am number 15, I have time to go to the bathroom. So, I got up and went into  the ladies’ restroom. As I was peeing, I thought I heard my name being called. As I was wiping, I thought I heard my name again. As I washed my hands, I thought I heard my name. I went to dry my hands with the hand blower and realized they are calling my name. I dried my hands on my pants as I ran out of the restroom and onto the stage. I said “sorry, I’m late. I was in the bathroom and do you know that for $3.50 you can get a tampon, midol, a condom and a temporary tattoo. Just what I need when I am PMS’ing is a temporary tattoo.  It works wonders every time.” And that was my first time performing stand up comedy in an official comedy here in the Twin Cities. And that is when I also learned that they mix it up. You do not go up in the order you signed up in.